A Spoonful of Stardust Will Help the Antimatter Go Down
by Devin Trinidad
Summary: Or five times Tahani has a cup of antimatter as she continues her journey to become an architect.
1. Taking It Sleazy

The first time Tahani tried a cup of antimatter, it's pitch dark with a few flecks of stardust and electrons floating near the surface. The barista who handed it to her does so with a small smile, saying that it was a new recipe that they were trying out. Tahani had laughed and bid them a jolly goodbye as she carried the cup of this strange beverage back to her desk.

Her desk is a small thing, certainly not fit for her previous lifestyle all those Jeremy Bearimy's ago, but she's proud of all the neat stacks of paper and the little pile of pens and highlighters that she had cast to the side before her little break. Besides the documents, there are a few other knickknacks that some of her coworkers had made fun of her for (bad habits, but forgivable after a scheduled intervention). There were pictures of her family in the drollest clothing ever and walking in venues that would have been an embarrassment back when they were alive. There were other pictures of her coworkers—Glenn with a nervous smile on his face, Val waving at the camera all shy-like, Vicky poised like a model just about to strut down the runway, and Shawn who…well, he says he's smiling, but it looks like he's baring his teeth to the viewer. He claimed that it was his bad habits flaring up again, but even after a couple thousand Bearimy's, she wasn't all too sure.

Despite the slew of photographs that stand at attention, there is something of far more value that stood at the very front of the other photos.

As Tahani placed her cup atop a small coaster that she had made herself, she glanced down at the photo and took it in hand. It was a photo of the family that she had formed with those who had been with her since the very first "Good Place" session. Shawn had volunteered Glenn to take the photo since he thought that the entire scene was too mind numbingly sappy for him to properly function even outside the workplace. Of course, being the gentleman that he was, Glenn had managed to capture a photo filled to the brim with chaos.

Jason was busy shooting everyone with his paintball guns, Eleanor was using Chidi as a shield while Chidi had summoned a couple of his books as canon fodder. Janet was rooting on the sidelines while Michael flanked Jason on the left, but he was armed with a backpack filled with water balloons. As for Tahani, she was busy striking a pose at the camera to notice that one of Jason's paintball bullets were aiming for her while both Eleanor and Chidi were begging her to get down.

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips before she gently buffed the edges of the framed photo and set it back down gently onto her desk. She was about to settle into her seat and start her work, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Hey there, Tahani! What's shaking?"

Ah, the outdated colloquialisms. There was only one person who would dare use such language when other demons were in earshot.

"Michael! You're here!" She immediately forewent any sense of propriety and practically jumped onto him. Her slender arms wound around his shoulders and her head rested against his shoulder. For a moment, the pair were living in each other's presence, both of them glad that they were seeing each other again. After that, however, Michael subtly nudged Tahani away while coughing just a bit.

Tahani raised a brow, confused at his actions.

Michael was quick to remedy the situation by holding up the same style of styrofoam cup that Tahani herself had. "Got myself a fresh, steaming cup of antimatter just for this special occasion. Apparently, it's the stardust special."

At that, Tahani couldn't help but laugh. "Really? What a coincidence!" She grabbed her own order of antimatter and presented it with the aplomb of a showgirl on a game show. "I've got my own. Although…I'm not sure if it's the stardust special."

Michael looked at Tahani's beverages before nodding slowly. "Nah, you got lucky. Stardust specials are rarely offered. The baristas often make these bad boys once or twice a Bearimy." A beat. "When the timeline matches up with the highest point on the first peak of the 'r' in Jeremy."

"You know, it's been a thousand or so Bearimy's, but I don't think I'll get over the novelty of a name being on par with the universe's lifespan."

"Well, it's a lot more complicated than that, but that's another story for another time." Michael gestured towards her desk with a knowing look. "Got a lot on your plate?"

"Oh, do I ever!" Tahani practically collapsed back into her seat as she began flipping through her portfolio that held several blueprints that were either in progress or were already checked by her superiors. "Look!" Tahani pointed at one of her architectural plates, all of it well designed and drawn. There were measurements written in tiny print alongside the margins in pencil, which was good, Michael thought. With architectural plating, the architect shouldn't leave their mathematics on the side, it would just cause clutter. As Michaels' eyes roamed Tahani's chosen plate, he saw—

"Oh my, are you remixing the Taj Mahal and Buckingham Palace?"

"Careful there, Michael, or else you look like I've actually made you speechless."

Michael glanced first at Tahani, back to the design, back to Tahani, and then finally, he placed the design back onto her desk.

"Speechless?" Michael wrapped his arms around Tahani, his strength momentarily causing the young woman to lose all breath in her lungs. "Tahani, I am so… so…" He surreptitiously wiped at his eyes.

"Are you crying?" A sudden stab of insecurity was all Tahani could feel before blurting out, "Was it that bad? I can fix it! Look, I'll remix Big Ben and the Taj Mahal! Or even better, the White House with Big Ben or—or—"

"No, dear, it's absolutely perfect." Michael sniffled a little before casting a watery smile at Tahani. "What I was trying to tell you before this meat suit got wet—"

"Gross."

"—was that I was proud of you." A sudden thought occurred to Michael. "Did Shawn approve? Because if he didn't, I can rough him up a little. Old Bad Place style."

"Absolutely not, Michael!" Tahani's self-assured smile spoke volumes. She puffed up her chest with a look of pride, all pretense of humility all but gone out the window. "Shawn says that within a few more Bearimy's I can get certified."

Michael clapped his hands. "R-really! That's amazing! We should celebrate! We should get Chidi and Eleanor and Janet and—"

"I actually have a better idea right now." At Michael's questioning glance, Tahani raised her coffee cup high and waited for Michael to raise his own. "A toast, if you will, Michael."

"Ah, yes. A toast…what is a good thing to—Ah!" With renewed vigor Michael's voice began to echo throughout the architect hall, which caused all other architects, both Good and Bad, to look at them with a mixture of amusement and disgust. "To a new era of neighborhoods, courtesy of one Tahani Al Jamil." In a much softer tone, Michael continued. "Congratulations, knock 'em dead. Not literally, of course, that's kind of not the point, but you get what I'm saying, right?"

They both laughed, clinked—or rather, they tried to clink—their styrofoam cups of coffee together.

That first taste of antimatter with sprinkles of stardust burned her tongue, was a tad too sweet, but was overall filling as she watched Michael drop her name as he went from architect to architect. All the while, he was singing her praises like she was the savior of all of humanity.

Well.

She kind of was.


	2. Comprehending Uncertainty

The second time Tahani drank antimatter, she's in Chidi's and Eleanor's study.

Although Tahani was usually punctual in telling her friends beforehand that she was going to visit, she had forgotten. After spending an unimaginable amount of time poring over new designs and techniques, she was beyond stressed and needed relaxation. Even Shawn, who was a stickler for employees following strict regulations, kindly asked—coerced—her to take a day off or two. Thrilled with the news of relaxing her artistic strengths and just being herself, she had immediately visited the Good Place and knocked upon Chidi and Eleanor's door.

In a flash, the door opened to reveal Chidi in his usual outfit that spoke of professionalism and eloquence. Tahani surmised that she must have caught him at a time when he was at his most relaxed—in his hands, there was a novel.

"Tahani!" Chidi tucked his book under his arm as he gave an awkward, but warm hug towards one of his dear friends. They squeezed each other for a moment before Chidi let go. "What brings you here? Eleanor didn't tell me that you were coming to visit."

"Well," Tahani began as she crossed the threshold and into the sitting room. "Shawn told me to get some fresh air or he would, quote, 'stuff spiders up my arse'. Don't worry, Chidi," Tahani said as Chidi began to look mildly alarmed. "It was all in good fun. He's still working on past habits. Glenn and Val are great mentors, though."

Chidi smiled as he, too, took a seat. "That's great to hear! How long are you free?"

"Just a few days, I imagine. I don't want to get too comfortable in the Good Place." She laughed breezily. "I just might forget that I'm supposed to be in training to be an architect."

"Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? Eleanor is usually the one stocking up around here, but she had to go do something a while ago."

"Actually," Tahani reached into her messenger bag and pulled out three styrofoam cups of coffee. "I've never seen the Good Place serve this beverage before so I took it upon myself to get you two a nice pick me up. Try it!" Her well manicured hands handed Chidi one of the cups while she added a packet of stardust into her own.

At first, Chidi looked a little perturbed as he looked at the contents. He swirled the beverage a little in experimentation before he blew the steaming contents gently.

"You sure this is meant for humans?" He raised a brow at Tahani, who looked like she was about to start laughing at his current indecision. That brought back memories. "I don't want to end up exploding into a million Chidi particles if I can help it. I mean, you didn't even tell me what it is."

Tahani pretended to be offended, she really tried, but acting was never her forte. Instead, she tipped back the styrofoam into her waiting mouth and made a show of enjoying her cup of antimatter.

"Come now, dear, a cup of antimatter never hurt anyone and—" She waved another packet of stardust that she had stashed away in her suit jacket. "—if you don't like the taste, we can add in some stardust to spice it up."

"Well…" Chidi closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and before Tahani could warn him about the temperature, Chidi copied Tahani's movements to the letter. Immediately, Chidi just about dropped his cup of antimatter onto the coffee table before immediately fanning his face. "Oooh! It burns! It burns!"

Tahani jumped to her feet and sprinted to the kitchen. As she rummaged through the cupboards, she kept apologizing to Chidi for her negligence. "Oh my! Shirt! Shirt!" Finally finding what she was looking for, she took out a glass and headed towards the freezer. Once she emptied the dispenser of ice, she placed them into the glass and headed back to her philosophical friend.

Chidi had calmed down since the original attack on his taste buds. He was resting his back against the cushions of the couch and he was studying the cup of antimatter with the serious disposition of someone going through an existential crisis. To be honest, it eerily reminded her of when Michael had gone through a similar phase.

That can't be good.

"Er… try this." Tahani shoved the glass of ice into his hands. At Chidi's confused expression, Tahani rolled her eyes and simply commented, "Suck on them."

"Wha—"

"Oh, get your mind out of the gutter! I meant the ice!"

"That is—That makes much more sense. For a second there, I thought you were going to be as horny as—"

"Chidi!"

"On it!"

The instant Chidi placed an ice cube onto his tongue, his face immediately relaxed. It took a minute, but Chidi finally sucked the cube until it was nothing more than chilled water in his throat.

"Whoo!" Chidi placed the glass of ice onto the low table. "That was quite a ride!"

Tahani peeked up at him through her lashes. "You're all right?"

"Yeah," Chidi picked up the cup of antimatter and raised it to his lips. "I guess Jason must have rubbed off on me. Recklessness and all that."

Tahani stopped short in the middle asking Chidi why he was going to try the antimatter again. It had been…a while. Even now, Bearimy's after, there was a hole in Tahani's chest about her—their—friend that left.

"Yeah," Tahani managed to concede. "I'm glad that Jason finally found his inner peace. I hope that he's in a better place now."

For a moment, the duo remained silent.

Until—

"I think I want to go too."

Tahani's warm brown eyes were wide and unblinking. It was rare for the former heiress to be stunned into silence. So rare, that Chidi looked vaguely uncomfortable but mostly concerned as he tried to catch her attention by waving his hand in front of her face.

"Are you… are you all right?"

Feeling helpless and out of her element, Tahani could only shrug. "I am… that's a bit to take in right now. Are you certain? Perhaps the antimatter has done something to you!"

In haste, Tahani was about to take the antimatter away from Chidi, but he waved her attempt off.

In his most matter of fact, professional tone, he stated, "You remember Jason's metaphor about the right temperature for a jalapeño pepper?"

"I don't believe I'm familiar, but I can pick up on the context." Tahani nodded to herself as a sense of sadness took hold of her. It was like remembering Jason again, but stronger this time. This sort of sadness was fresh and new. Suddenly, another stab of pain accompanied with concern filled her body. Hesitant, but firm, she asked, "Did…did you tell her yet? Eleanor?"

He sighed—a long drawn out exhale that had Tahani fearing for the worst. "No, not yet."

"Is it because you're not sure or…"

Chidi shook his head. "I'm ready, but I'm not sure about Eleanor. She's been through so much throughout her life and if I leave well…" He chuckled lowly, but Tahani couldn't find anything humorous about the situation.

"How long have you felt this way?"

Chidi smiled at her.

"Well…I don't quite know what to say." Tahani wrung her hands and worried at her teeth, all manners of behavior that were not befitting of someone who was raised with a silver spoon in her mouth. "Do you need help or—"

Chidi leaned over and grasped one of her hands into his own. His touch was comforting and warm, instantly calming her.

"Don't worry. Eleanor and I will be all right." Chidi smiled at her before pointing at his antimatter. "Do you still have some of that stardust? I want to see if it'll make it taste better."

"Of course, darling."

Tahani took a sip of her antimatter and let the smooth, mellow notes of all the uncertainties of the universe swirl across her tongue.


	3. (Monk)eying Around

The third time Tahani takes a sip of antimatter, she's almost alone and not at the same time.

It was a bad day of sorts for Tahani. One of her designs had fallen prey to a minor miscalculation in the measurements for one of the neighborhoods. Apparently, she made the area far too small, which resulted in a plan only suitable for half the required humans. Of course, it was a common mistake, but at that point, Tahani felt that she should have progressed past the point of trivial mistakes. For goodness' sake! She was only a few Bearimy's away from being certified! Glenn had told her that it was fine and Val had offered to get her some antimatter with her favorite flavor just to cheer her up. Of course, the demons' act of kindness cheered Tahani up, but it was that stupid mistake…

Well, after revising her architectural plate again, she decided to go on a few hours' break. Tahani had planned on visiting some of the newer neighborhoods in person just so that she could take notes for her future projects, but decided against it. For one, that endeavor would only seek to remind her of her mistake, which was not something that she wanted to do at the moment. Instead, she made her way back to the Good Place for a stroll.

She thought about visiting Chidi and Eleanor again, but after consulting Janet, she was informed that they were visiting sights from Earth. Well, not one to waste time, Tahani had merely nodded and began walking in a random direction.

At one point, Tahani had summoned Janet to summon a cup of antimatter. Once Tahani had it in her hands, she noticed that it was at the right temperature; perfect for sipping while on a nature stroll. Upon opening the lid, Tahani smiled and whispered a small, "Thank you, Janet" before continuing on her way. Janet always somehow knew how she liked her beverages.

The neighborhood that she was walking through gradually became overrun with trees and greenery. Humanity became a footnote as the trees towered like giants and the air became still with natural silence. The only thing that Tahani was aware of was that she felt at peace. It was akin to the feeling of that first time she felt fulfilled from her needs as a human, before she decided to help all of humanity by becoming an architect.

It was beautiful.

At one point, Tahani found a small wooden bench that stood upright in front of what appeared to be an archway made of intertwined branches. Hmm… Tahani meandered over to the archway, obviously not naturally made and hesitantly touched it. Her fingers traced the wood—there was something inlaid within the braided branches, something that told her there was something old and ancient… She was about to walk through the archway, just to see what was on the other side when—

"Yo! Dude, be careful!"

"W-wha—" Tahani found herself lifted off her feet and carried back to the wooden bench. These were arms that she knew well, once upon a time. That was the voice that she used to hear time and time again that spoke through convoluted analogies and metaphors. This was— "Jason!"

"Hey! What up homie!" Jason set her back on her feet and smiled in that goofy way of his that Tahani had been infatuated with once upon a time. Fortunately, Tahani had outgrown that period in their relationship and was looking at him like he was an alien or a—

"Tell me you aren't actually a demon inside of a skin suit."

Jason rolled his eyes good naturedly at his friend. "Nope! Well, at least I don't think so. Unless that river water I drank earlier was actually water from Florida. Then I'm about fifteen percent sure that I'm actually white."

"Why—How—Can you…?"

She rubbed the bridge of her nose before gesturing towards the bench.

"I think the both of us should sit down." Once they were seated, Tahani interlaced her fingers together and faced Jason in earnest. "Why are you still here, Jason?"

"Well, Janet and I said goodbye a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long—"

"Jason, darling." Her voice was a warning, one that Jason took immediate notice of.

"—time ago and I was about to go through the door and everything—" Jason pointed to the wooden archway. "—but I was like, what about Janet?"

"Erm?"

"You know that necklace I made that I showed you before the farewell party? I kind of lost it and I never gave it to Janet. But! Here's the thing, I actually found it!" With a whoop of triumph that was usually reserved for anything resembling a win for Derek Bortles, Jason fished his hand into one of his pockets and pulled out the necklace that he had been ecstatically talking about. "Turns out that it was in another pocket this whole time!"

"Oh, congratulations! A highest of fives for your accomplishment!"

"Heck yeah, baby!"

With a resounding smack that filled the forest's silent air, they high fived each other with the aplomb of preschoolers learning how to accomplish such an action.

"So, are you going to call Janet? I don't think she's busy right now and…it's been so long. Aren't you tired of waiting?" A touch of worry laced Tahani's tone as she placed a comforting hand over Jason's shoulder.

For once, Jason's demeanor lacked the ease and carefreeness of any native Floridian. He seemed… almost wise and considerate. "Nah, it doesn't seem right. When I want Janet to come by, I want it to be on her own terms because I know she's busy and she probably doesn't know that I'm here." Jason thought for a second before continuing. "Also, I am become nature through the silence of the generations that come before me."

Tahani's mouth fell open.

"Oh my… Jason, are you coherent now?" Tahani cupped Jason's face with both of her hands, as if in doing so would shock him out of his sudden induction into personhood. "When did you become so considerate of Janet's feelings? And…." Tahani thought back to what her friend had said, sudden realization filling her soul. "Are you a monk now?"

Jason thought for a second before nodding slowly.

"Sure, why not! Monks are pretty dope, kind of like Aang and his little monkey friend. Except, I don't have a monkey friend. But I do have Janet's necklace! Did I show you the necklace?"

Tahani nodded quickly. "Yes, Jason, you did." She smiled warmly at him before gesturing to the cup that she had with her. "You want a small pick me up before I go?"

Jason shook his head. "Nah, it's been nice and all, but…" Jason tilted his head towards the canopy of the forest, his gaze filled with serene yearning. It was the same look that Tahani had seen with the monks that she had lived with Bearimy's ago. "You just gotta go, ya know?"

Tahani nodded.

With that, Jason bounded off to the forest with a holler that could have woken up half the forest.

As Tahani took a small sip of her antimatter, she noted that there was a tad more sweetness and flavor than what she was accustomed to. Normally, Tahani would have balked at such a flavor, but found herself settling against the trunk of the tree.

It dawned on her that she quite liked the taste.


	4. The Big Bang

The fourth time Tahani drinks antimatter, she's holding Eleanor close.

"I came as quickly as I could." Tahani rushed through the household, arms flung wide and ready to embrace her much shorter, blonde friend. "How are you doing, darling?"

Tahani stopped short when she saw that her best friend rested on the couch, her eyes glued onto the glossy cover of a—

The former heiress leaned over the couch and found her mouth gaping wide. "Is that Chidi?"

"Indeed it is." Eleanor sighed in contentment before leaning her head back against the cushions of the couch to grant Tahani one of the brightest smiles that she had ever seen. She tapped a forefinger onto a picture of Chidi that looked like he was dressed in a weight lifting costume; all the while, a humorous glint sparkled in her eyes. "I don't blame you for being into him during that first time. He is a legit meal for the eyes."

In an almost disbelieving manner, Tahani leaned closer towards Eleanor. "Erm… Darling, are you all right? Are you going through an existential crisis? Do you need Janet or Michael to help you?" Tahani moved around the length of the couch and sat next to Eleanor, their bodies warmly welcoming each other. "Please don't tell me you're going through an existential crisis, I barely passed any of Chidi's classes!"

The other woman shook her head slowly, the smile of contentment fading into a fond exasperated look. As Eleanor rested her golden head atop Tahani's shoulder, she answered, "Nah, hot stuff. I'm just… the wave returned back to the ocean and I'm just taking in the scenery."

Tahani blinked.

"Come again?"

"It's a Buddhist thing."

Tahani sat rigid and looked at Eleanor like she had accidentally sprouted squid arms. "Jason told you that?"

"Puh-lease… Nah, Chidi told me that and well…" She shrugged and flipped through the pages of the calendar that rested on her lap. "I'm here and I'm okay."

"Well, do you want me to leave you alone because—" Again, she stopped short. Tahani didn't know what to say. She had come all the way from the Bad Place after telling her mentors that she had to make sure that Eleanor was going to be okay, but now… Now, it seemed that Tahani wasn't needed anymore. The thought shouldn't have filled her with the realization that Eleanor didn't need her now, but it did. It seemed like Chidi and Jason, Eleanor was starting to slip away.

When did that Arizona dirtbag become replaced with someone who was mature and accepting of change? It was disturbing, but in a way, Tahani was proud of her. "—because…" Tahani's voice caught in her throat. All those etiquette lessons that her parents had drilled into her brain were all for naught! For the first time in a long time, she was speechless—and this was after she had witnessed Glenn take off his skin suit on a dare and had turned into a gigantic lava rock monster.

Eleanor must have picked up on Tahani's apparent discomfort because she immediately hopped up to her feet and then helped Tahani up from the couch.

"Come on, let's get a drink."

"Are you sure?"

Eleanor rolled her eyes. "Honey, it's the same ol' Eleanor! 'Course I want that drink!"

Both women headed over the green door, Eleanor leading the way. As Tahani crossed the threshold into another part of the universe, she found that she was walking into what appeared to be a quaint coffee shop. A barista was standing and waving them over with a polite smile.

"Welcome to Starbucks! What do you want to order?"

"Wait, is this like Starbucks Starbucks," Eleanor can't help but ask,"or like, some kind of weird cosmic version of Starbucks?"

The barista smiled and pointed at the menu behind her. "We serve antimatter, the upcoming heat death of the multiverse, and—Ooh! My favorite!" The barista conspiratorially winked at both women before in a stage whisper, said, "One of our best sellers, the big bang."

Eleanor tugged at Tahani's arm, a smug little smirk on her face. "You hear that, babe. The big bang."

Tahani wrinkled her nose at Eleanor's emphasis on the 'big' part of the bang.

"Must you problematically sexualize everything you see?"

"Til the day I die. Oh, wait! I already did!"

Both ladies laughed, one more hysterically than the other, before they placed in their order. Tahani asked for her customary mug of antimatter sprinkled with stardust while Eleanor got her big bang. That done, the pair headed to a small table that overlooked a mixture of time and space melding into each other a slurry of stars and supernovas.

"Should have known that this wasn't a real Starbucks, the barista's hot, but way too happy."

"Agreed." Tahani paused and thought for a moment. "Eleanor…you're okay? Truly?"

"Tahani…I think I made peace with it." Eleanor looked out the window, noting how space itself wasn't just all blacks and darkness, but a variety of royal blues, purples, and reds all dancing together to form ephemeral masterpieces. "Kind of like how you made up your mind about being an architect, how Jason just knew when to go… It was a change that was inevitable now that I think about it, but…"

The barista handed them their respective drinks.

"Thanks, dude!" Eleanor turned to Tahani, sparkles in her eyes. "It was kind of inevitable… kind of like how death is inevitable, except, you know, we're already dead. But I've got memories of Chidi, you, Jason, Michael, Janet, and so many other people… change is worth it."

Much to her surprise, Tahani found that her vision was getting blurry and that Eleanor was mixing into the background of all shades of purples and blacks and blues—Oh dear! She's crying and she just couldn't stop.

"Eleanor, I—" She hiccuped, a sound that she hasn't heard in a few Bearimy's and tried to cough, tries to bury away the shame that she's showing vulnerability in a Starbucks of all things. "—I'm proud of you. And Chidi."

"Aww, babe." Eleanor interlaced her much smaller fingers into Tahani's tanned skin. Another hand brushed the stray tears that happened to fall down Tahani's cheeks, a look of concern on her usually carefree face. "Don't cry; I don't have a tissue on me and um…"

Tahani laughed despite herself and tried to hide herself by resting her face into the cradle of her arms on top of the table. Her hiccups had slowly transitioned into long, drawn out breaths that were supposed to keep her body calm and her mind empty. It wasn't until she felt a warmth encompassing her side and the scent of what was purely Eleanor filled Tahani's nose. It was calming, far more effective than what Tahani was trying to do earlier.

Eleanor rubbed circles into Tahani's back, careful not to cause wrinkles into the clothing—not that Tahani would have cared at that point. "Come on, Tahani! I'm still here, we'll both be okay."

Tahani collapsed in Eleanor's hold, giving way to her emotional state.

"We'll both be okay?"

Eleanor hummed in affirmation. "Yeah, babe, I got you."

For a few minutes, the two of them stayed like that as the sway of the universe piddled off into infinitum. It wasn't until Eleanor felt the classic burn of a cramp for standing too long in an almost crouched position that she began to straighten her posture and ventured back to her seat.

"Come on, let's celebrate." She raised her glass high. "To being okay!"

They raised their respective mugs, clinked the glasses to the toast, and immediately took a sip.

The antimatter was warm and refreshing, just as exquisite and phenomenal as the birth of a new star.


	5. One Last Reassurance

The fifth time Tahani drinks a cup of antimatter, it's for the last time.

The walk into the forest is quiet, solemn even. Before this walk—her final walk in the Good Place forest—she had opted not to throw a party. She had not given a loud declaration that she was leaving. She had simply left a resignation letter for Shawn and gave her other mentors hugs. As for her parents, they had gone through the archway only a few Bearimy's after Tahani's initial declaration and her sister had recently departed. Even John, one of her few friends who had stayed in the Good Place for as long as she had, had finally decided to leave the afterlife for good. That had dealt a huge blow to Tahani, but she had kept her chin held high.

Now, with a certificate under her belt and over millions of neighborhoods in operation, Tahani began to feel weary. Tired. It wasn't a bad sort of feeling. It was the sensation that one felt when they had achieved so much in a limited amount of time that they just wanted to rest and be happy.

In truth, Tahani was happy.

Tahani was complete.

And now, she wanted to go.

There was only one thing that held Tahani back.

"Janet," Tahani questioned softly. "Will you be all right?" Tahani fingered the hem of her suit jacket before adjusting the peacock bow tie that Michael had given her all those Bearimy's ago. It was looking a little worse for wear, but not all things were meant to last.

Janet's smile, all poise and polite, still belied a sense of melancholy. It may not have always been apparent, but Janet was human in her non-human/non-robot kind of way.

"Don't worry about me, Tahani. I'll be all right." Janet looked up at the sky for a moment before a fond smile lit up the planes of her ageless face. "Besides, rumor has it that Michael is going through his first round of tests." Janet made a small pinging noise when another dose of information made its way into her database. She glanced at Tahani with a look of mischief. "Might I add that it's in one of your neighborhoods?"

"Oooh! Really!" Tahani practically jumped in glee before catching herself. "Was it 89021Z? 76044B? Or—" Tahani took a deep breath, trying to achieve the inner peace that had come upon her only moments before the sudden reveal. "Never mind, they're all equally good and I bet that Michael is proud of me."

"Do you want confirmation?"

"Yes, please."

"He likes your redux of the Taj Mahal and Buckingham Palace."

"Of course! Neighborhood Project 76040B!" Hysterical laughter left Tahani's lips. "I almost want to forget all of this and go back!"

Janet looked at her steadily. "Do you want to go back?"

Tahani stared ahead at the forest. From her previous venture, she knew that they were close.

What was the use of coming this far if she was only going to turn back?

"No…but tell Michael that I hope I did him proud. Oh, he might want this back." Tahani undid the peacock bow tie from around her neck, placed a chaste kiss on the cloth, and placed it into Janet's hand. "Such an underrated look that tie."

"I'll be sure to pass it on to him when he finally gets to the Good Place."

"He better."

Finally, the pair of them stood in front of an archway composed of intertwining branches in between a pair of towering trees. A lone bench stood right in front of the doorway, small and inconspicuous, but ready to offer comfort.

"You can sit on that bench for as long as you want and whenever you're ready, you can just walk through."

"Join me?"

Janet nodded.

"Would you like a cup of antimatter before you leave?"

"That would be lovely, thank you."

"And would you like some stardust?"

"You know me too well."

Janet immediately summoned the drinks and handed it off to Tahani. Instead of it being inside a styrofoam cup, it was one made of ceramic—one that Tahani had made a long time ago when she was still learning how to do things for herself. The gesture made Tahani smile as she wrapped an arm around Janet's shoulders, a content sigh leaving her lips. Before she took a sip, Tahani glanced down at the steaming beverage, expecting to find flecks of stardust forming small galaxies within the confines of her cup, but found small points of light jumping in and out of the liquid.

"Hmm, I think you should try one new flavor before you go, like a mini farewell party for your taste buds."

"Well then, I suppose this is one of the best parties I've ever been to if that's the case." Tahani raised her cup in front of the archway in a solemn toast. "To whatever is on the other side."

Tahani took a small sip and found that it was pleasant. Not too hot, not too cold. Not too sweet, not too bitter. Not too calming, but not too much of a kick for her tastebuds.

"Hmm," Tahani breathed in the pleasant scent. "I think this is one of your finest work. What did you put in it?"

Janet leaned in before conspiratorially whispering, "Protons for positivity."

"You're joking!"

Janet smiled, no longer volunteering information.

"Are you ready?"

Tahani swirled the contents of her cup a little, watching the galaxies collide and form one mega galaxy that was strewn with an assortment of stars and planets.

"I'm ready, I'm just... I'm worried about you. Sooner or later, Michael will also want to leave…and then you'll be all alone."

"Tahani," Janet placed a hand on Tahani's shoulder, causing Tahani's gaze to fall on her rather than on the doorway's presence. "Don't worry. Chances are I'll spend a few thousand more Bearimy's with Michael and when that's over, I still have the Judge, Shawn, the new Good Place committee members…"

"That doesn't sound like reassurance, to be honest."

"But I won't be alone because I have you—" Janet took hold of Tahani's hand and placed it over where a beating heart should be. "—and Jason and Eleanor and Chidi and Michael in my memories. And my heart."

"You have a... heart?" Was she hearing that correctly?

"Of course! All those reboots had me forming not only emotional attachments and flexible thinking patterns, but also physical sensations that remind me of what a human feels like! If I remember correctly, I think I managed to learn what sweating was that one time Jason—"

"Ah ah ah," Tahani downed the rest of her antimatter and drew Janet to her feet. "I suppose that's a story that you can tell Michael once he's finished. As for me, well…" She inclined her head to the doorway, all sense of fear and anxiety drifting away to the breeze.

Janet and Michael were going to be okay and that was what mattered.

"I'm ready."

"Goodbye, Tahani."

And with that, Tahani Al Jamil, architect of millions of neighborhoods and one of the saviors of all of humanity, stepped through the doorway.

There was the bittersweet tang of finality resting upon her tongue.


End file.
